Pornography and Repentance

There was a guy who I was beginning to get rather a close to he's in one of my classes and he was here over the summer. The more I talked to him the more I've been thinking why is it I'm not head over heels in love with you? You WANT to take every religion class offered on campus, you are involved in theatre, and sing and love Disney and have an interest in physics, mathematics, and mechanical engineering and we continue to have really amazing spiritual conversations, why am I not hard core in love with you. We were doing our religion homework together, and afterward he walked me home, we were talking for the next hour and somehow we became in contact with the subject of our pasts. I gave the run down of mine being, depression to self abuse to anorexia then the bright light which accompanies the marvelous atonement of Jesus Christ to bring forgiveness and a mighty change of heart. He briefly over viewed his past, which consisted of a portion involving pornography. I wanted to die. Oh Satan how much I hate you, you are so unkind to us. Knowing him now, I can see the repentance he has gone through and I know the atonement is so real besides in my life, I know because I can see it in his eyes. I am still very afraid, because I fear pornography. I am so grateful for the atonement of my Savior Jesus Christ who has made it possible for us to overcome our mortal faults and to grow to be better than we were before.