I am proud(?) to say that I have embarrassed myself for the LAST TIME at my RSP unit, (which is the unit I was in to get me ready for basic). Every month I went, it seemed like something happened to me, or I did something to completely make a fool of myself, and well.... I was foolish to think I could weasel out of it this time, even if it WAS my last time there. So, here it goes... (maybe I'll feel better if I can tell people who can just laugh with me about it and I'll stop worrying as much.)
Today was my "hand-off" ceremony, where they "hand-off" the soldiers who have completed their training to their new unit. I showed up early, in the right uniform, and I was feeling great. This was something I'd looked forward to all since my first day at RSP. They explained how things would work: they'd call our names and we'd come in front of the company and stand at the position of attention while they read a little thing about how we have become professional soldiers in the US Army and we can be ready to be called upon at any time, and they want to recognize our accomplishments, etc., etc. Then they would announce the high honor graduates (there were two out of the five who were honor grads), then they'd have us fall out and we'd be free to go. Too easy, right??
Everything went great! Just as planned. Except when we got to the part where the Sergeant was supposed to release us, he whispered, "You all ready for your speeches?" What? Speeches? Nobody said I'd have to get a speech!! However, everyone else nodded and looked like they knew what they were doing, and it would make sense to have the graduated soldiers pass on their words of wisdom... so I decided to just watch and play along. They began with the private at the end of the line to my right side (I'm in the middle, two on each side). He stepped forward and told people to stay motivated, and to have some fun, and gave them reassurance that they could do it. At this point, my hands are starting to sweat and I'm slightly freaking out because I DO NOT want to give a speech in front of everyone, especially all the officers who were there to watch! Ahh! I racked my brain for something good and worthwhile to say...by this point the next guy was just about done. He pretty much said the same thing as the other guy, just rephrased a bit, which was exactly what I'd planned to do. Snap! I did some quick thinking on my feet, took a deep breath, and after he was done, I took my step forward. I told them to have fun with it, it may be hard, but its definitely do-able, and to remember why they joined to help them get through. I finished my little pep-talk still feeling extremely silly and exposed, and took a step back and waited for the guy next to me to step forward. Before he did, the sergeant called us all to attention and then released us! I was thinking, wait, what about the other guys? Don't they get a chance to talk?? Thats not fair, why did they make me talk and they got to get out of it?!?!? Then it slowly dawned on me.....
The two males in front of me were the two honor graduates.... They were the only ones who were supposed to talk!!! After the second guy was done, THAT'S when we were supposed to be released!!! I DIDN'T HAVE TO GET UP IN FRONT OF EVERYONE!!! And instead of just lying low, I took it upon myself to get up in front of everyone and make a fool of myself. Everyone else knew how it was supposed to go, how come no one ever told me?? AAAAAAAAHHHHHHHHHHHH!!!!!!!!!!! Now I look like the total and complete idiot who loves attention and just HAD to steal the floor to put my two cents in... Ugh, girls I was so HuMiLiAtEd!!!! I think I was the cause for a few rolled eyes and many chuckles from all the NCO's and officers watching in the back.... Oh my gosh!!!! AAARRRGH! I. AM. SO. EMBARRASSED. I may never get over this. My only hope is that by sharing it with others, maybe someday I'll be able to look back on this and laugh at what a nut I am... But for now, feel free to laugh and invite me to share the humor, please!
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